A Blog


so my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying the other day and we did the whole “professor and bad student who needs to pass” thing, only he wanted to be the professor, so I had to be the horny and failing student. I’m the valedictorian of my senior class of 400 and I have a horrible phobia of flunking, so when he whispered “you’re failing my class, you naughty girl” in my ear, I started crying and we had to stop

(via kanyeskanye)


after i die i’ll probably still complain

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Louis C.K.’s opening monologue on SNL.

(via those-dancing-gays)


What have they done to you? This is my fault. I wasn’t there for you. I’m so sorry.

(Source: fionagoddess, via hvrrx)


Restroom air dryers are a great way to warm your hands before wiping them on your jeans

(Source: sir-broccoli, via captaindarian)

I kinda hate myself at the moment but I’ve got a hot prom dress and had Chinese for dinner so I guess it’s not that bad.

(Source: occupt, via gingerbbatch)

(Source: neuralmente, via scotland0yard)

(Source: holmeswatsoned, via gingerbbatch)

(Source: citymod, via dumbcuntts)


my heart has an empty space where no homo used to be

(via scotland0yard)